20 November 2010

Bitty Beauty

Yesterday we were over at the Dallmeyers' jumping on the trampoline and hanging out after school.  At one point, I was watching Noble play and laugh and my heart actually HURT from loving him so much.  Then I looked out in the yard and Kayci was dancing with her friends, and there was that feeling again.  I was struck, looking at her face, by her beauty.   When I look at Bitty, I see the best of both of us, and I just have to thank God because I know I have nothing to do with it.  :)

Right now we're going through a bit of a rough spot attitude-wise, and I have to keep reminding my girl that pretty is as pretty does...but not in those words.  I am so proud of who Kayci IS--the person she is on the inside, and it stresses me out when she's sassy or worse, snotty.  Not just on the "how dare she?" level, but there's just my fear of her turning into one of those girls who I couldn't stand growing up.  I don't ever want her to take being cute for granted or use it as an excuse to not be a good person, if that makes any sense.  I know it's just a phase and she's trying out the teenage attitude she sees on TV and in movies and in some of the people she looks up to.  Come on, who's more sarcastic than I am?  It's no wonder sometimes when she pops off and I have to check myself because I know those same words (and that same snotty tone) probably came right out of my mouth at one point.  Parenting is very humbling--I can't take credit for the good parts, because I know those are blessings, but the bad parts?  All me, usually.

Today marks the start of a 9-day vacation!  Kind of; I'll still be working, but I don't have to go TO Galena Park, which is a huge relief after the past few weeks.  4 days this week...no wonder Kayci's having a rough time.  Heck, I'm having a rough time!  Anyway, back to vacation.  James is off all week, and Kayci is off as of lunchtime Wednesday...we're all looking forward to some downtime.  Which is why I'm absolutely confused as to why I woke up at 2:30 this morning and can't go back to sleep.  What part of "vacation" does my brain not understand??  (Although, really--when I sit here and start thinking about what I have to get done this week...let's call a spade a spade.  My Boy is on vacation.  It's a holiday week.  And I have a LOT to get done between here and Thursday.  Sigh...)

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