02 June 2010

A Reminder

Today was a rough day, work-wise. I finished up the day feeling all sorts of useless and questioning my role...questioning if it's worth continuing. I haven't answered those questions, yet, and truth be told, it's all still churning.

Then, as if I wasn't already bummed enough, I was running an hour later than I'd told my Mom. Noble was getting fussy and I was ready to be with my kiddos. To make up for the hour, I told Mom I'd run through Sonic and get everyone a drink. 15 minutes later, I was still there. At the 20 minute mark, I called the girl again. At the 25 minute mark, the carhop arrived...with someone else's order. At the 26 minute mark, I left. (The guy's argument? "It's that time of day...and the rain doesn't help." Um, it wasn't raining.) See...still all churny and stuff.

By the time I pulled up to Mom's house, I was just...done. Then I looked up and saw my Bubby in the window. He saw me and started waving and smiling, and smiling and waving...the pure JOY on his face was priceless. When I got out of the car I could hear him, "Mom Mom! Mom Mom here!" (It was really too cute and too sweet...but when he realized I was trying to take a picture instead of coming inside, he was confused. Poor kid!)

And for a while, at least until the next work phone call that got it all churning again, I was reminded that what makes me happy is right here...what I live for, right here. Work is just work--99% of the time, I'm so grateful to do something I love and am passionate about, with people I love. The other 1%, like today, I wish I didn't HAVE to work, that I could focus 100% on my family. Then the bad day will pass and my world falls back into balance...that's what I'm praying for tomorrow.

Right now, I'm going to close the computer and watch "Toddlers and Tiaras" with my big kid while the little kid snores here beside me. Tomorrow night, if all goes well, they'll be in their own beds and I'll be cuddling with my Boy. :) I can't wait. And I also can't wait until this melancholy passes and I'm back at 100% loving my job. It'll come...


Heather said...

Hang in there friend! You are more than useful. You add so much value, they would be lost without you. Like you said, this too will pass. Love ya!

Kristi said...

Thanks, Heather--looking forward to playing with y'all SOON! :)