Grateful

It's the most wonderful time of the year, and this year we are especially grateful for our many blessings.  We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I'm happy to report that even with all of the family blending, a good time was had by all.  If there were hurt feelings, I'm unaware (and would like to stay that way!).  It was just a great day.  Marsha posted pics this morning--don't know if the link will work, but here it is: 

http://www.kodakgallery.com/auntmarsh/main/thanksgiving_with_the_clarksons_and_pharaons

Friday was another great day--very relaxed, but lots of fun.  Mom & Dad were here, and we went to Martin Farms to get our tree and basically just hung out.  Kayci, James and I went to storage for our Christmas decorations and were all sufficiently freaked out by the big ol' snakeskin in our storage unit...I assume it's a rattlesnake who came in out of the cold, and if it outgrew the snakeskin we found, I surely don't want to run into it.  So, we're being cautious for a while and will stick to the front of our storage unit.  Yikes!  We did venture back to Bellville for a yummy dinner at the Golden Pagoda, and had a blast afterwards doing the Christmas tree.  We take our time, opening each ornament and talking about where/who it came from or why it's important to our family, then Kayci puts each one on the tree.  She rocked it this year; Grandma was impressed at how Kayci spaces the ornaments out, front and back, high and low. I love, love our Christmas tree--it truly tells the story of our little family, and our big families, as well.  It's not perfect, of course, and many probably wouldn't call it beautiful, but we love it.  The paper chain Kayci made last year was the finishing touch, and just makes it for me.  After the tree, Grandma and Kayci worked on the annual gingerbread house, and when I had to help, well, hilarity ensued.  We saved the best for last--our family of 4 fell asleep in our bed watching A Christmas Story.  It's a day after Thanksgiving tradition, after all...although the bed is usually either in Marble Falls or Fredericksburg.  :)

Yesterday was another relaxing day; Grandma, Noble & I went to Target to wrap up some shopping and everyone else visited the museum here in Brenham.  Afterwards, Grandma and Grandpa decided to hit the road.  The 4 of us took an almost 3 hour nap--wow!  After Friday night's 11:00 bedtime, I'm not surprised.  We got up from our nap and worked on decorating a bit more, then watched Elf and enjoyed some great soup and cornbread.  Noble fell asleep by 8, which left James, Kayci and I to cuddle on the couch and remember Christmases past, when it was truly just the 3 of us.  I love, love being a family of 4 and everything Noble brings to our lives, but I also have great memories of being a family of 3.  I think it did Kayci good to revisit that a bit last night, and to have some undivided attention.  And after we put her to bed, James and I got to snuggle on the couch...that was pretty great, too.  :)  

These past few days have been wonderful, but a little bittersweet.  For the first time I can remember, my Dad didn't spend Thanksgiving day in the kitchen, and he wasn't up to making the gingerbread house with Kayci.  But he was here, and he was able to go get our tree with us and hang out while we decorated.  We went out to eat several times and even took a trip to Lowe's...for Dad, this was a big ol' weekend.  I think it did him good to be here and be around the kids.  Nope, I know it did.  And I know it did Mom good, as well.  I'm looking forward to more time like this with Ronny's family in a few weeks.  In everything, the feeling that has nearly overwhelmed me is just...grateful.  We are blessed--I am blessed.   And I'm grateful for every day that I get with my family, big and small.  

This morning has been pretty quiet--James and I woke up early with Noble so we opted to stay in bed and watch a movie (seriously, haven't watched this much TV in ages!!) this morning rather than go to early church...then we've been having so much fun just piddling and playing this morning that we missed 11:00 church, too.  After Noble went down for a nap, I thought I'd sit down and blog for just a minute, and this song came on--it very much captures where I'm at today.  

Your Faithfulness
--Brian Doerksen

I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

I don't know if these clouds mean rain
If they do, will they pour down blessing or pain?
I don't know what the future holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness

I don't know how or when I'll die
Will it be a thief, or will I have a chance to say goodbye?
No, I don't know how much time is left
But in the end, I will know your faithfulness

When darkness overwhelms my soul
When thoughts and storms of doubt
Still I trust You are always faithful, always faithful

Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness

I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

Good day!

Today was a good day...I'm happy--and grateful--to say that I woke up feeling like myself today, ready to tackle the day.  Of course there were the usual ups and downs (Noble opted not to nap today, which is unusual BUT not too surprising as I had a bunch of Noble-free things I needed to do today).  But, we made do, and ended up having a great day.  The evening was jam-packed with the bulk of the day's cleaning to-do list, but it all worked out and here I am, ready for bed before 11.  Not bad for the day before a big get-together, if I do say so myself.  And my house isn't just guest-clean, it's Kristi-clean...so that feels good.  Of course I came up with several projects this week and didn't actually carry any of them through, but will have lots to do in the coming weeks to make the house more Noble-proof.  But that's another day.  Tomorrow's THANKSGIVING!!  Where has the time gone?  In a couple of days we'll have a Christmas tree, and be knee-deep in Christmas traditions.  I can't wait!  But first, as we tell Kayci, we'll give thanks for our many blessings.  

Chances are pretty good that if you're reading this...when we count our blessings tomorrow, you'll be on the list.  :)  

Yet I Will Praise

It's a struggle right now to keep smiling, be strong.  I'm muddling through as best as I can.  I woke up so sad this morning, with a song stuck in my head.  When we first started at St. Timothy's, there was a girl named Tammy who sang with the band.  She has a beautiful voice, and there are some songs that when I hear them in my head, I hear her voice, see her face.  This is one of those songs.  

I will praise You Lord my God
Even in my brokenness
I will praise You Lord
I will praise You Lord my God
Even in my desperation
I will praise You Lord

And I can't understand
All that You allow
I just can't see the reason
But my life is in Your hands
And though I cannot see You
I choose to trust You

Even when my heart is torn I will praise (trust) You Lord
Even when I feel deserted I will praise (trust) You Lord
Even in my darkest valley I will praise (trust) You Lord
And when my world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone
Yet I will praise You Lord

I will trust You Lord my God
Even in my loneliness
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord my God
Even when I cannot hear You
I will trust You Lord

And I will not forget
That You hung on a cross
Lord You bled and died for me
And if I have to suffer
I know that You've been there
And I know that You're here now

Back in my day...

I've been thinking about my Grandma a lot this weekend.  I talked to Marsha for a long time on Saturday, so maybe that's why.  Anyway, yesterday I was thinking about getting the house cleaned and rearranging furniture, etc. to make sure there's plenty of space for everyone on Thanksgiving.  We'll have a full house, and I'm actually really, really excited!  

But what I was thinking was, and I apologize in advance if I'm about to offend you...my generation is just never satisfied.  We all think we need bigger houses, bigger tables, more stuff, better stuff...we think we need it all, and we need it now.  I thought about going to Kansas, and being at Grandma's house.  It was smaller than our last 2 houses, but bigger than this one.  It was a very Kansas layout--very long, with one half the kitchen/living room/dining area and the other half being the three bedrooms and one bathroom.  One bathroom, folks.  But you know, I don't remember, even as an adult, thinking, we won't have enough room, or, what if 2 people need to go to the bathroom at the exact same moment?  We never thought about it, and if she did, I'm not aware of it.  It just WAS.  Grandma's house was Grandma's house--there was always enough food to go around, and when it was time to eat we'd extend the table and gather as many chairs as we could find around the house (remember that, how the chairs were stashed in the bedrooms, just part of the landscape?).  Nobody worried about bringing in another table or buying another table or would the fat...I mean, bigger people be able to fit around the table.  If it was time to eat, we ate.  Then afterward, some would go to the kitchen to clean, some would go rest or visit in the living room (which was the same room as the dining room) and some would stay at the table to visit or play cards or dominoes.  It was always loud, and always fun.  Kids played behind the couch with the red laundry basket of toys that had been passed down from kid to kid, or in the garage, or outside...it was Kansas, we could go outside without our parents in arms' reach.  

Anyway, the point is, nobody cared that it was the same dishes she'd always had, or the same table, or that the chairs got narrower as we got fat...I mean older.  The whole point of Grandma's house was the time we spent together.  Granted, the majority of that time revolved around food, but that's okay--like we said in the cookbook, it's that food that makes our family.  I wish more people could remember (myself included) that it's not about the stuff, it's about people, and time well spent.  

So, I still have to clean my filthy house and buy groceries and cook, and...take time to remember that nobody will notice if my ceiling fans have fuzz around the edges, or if there are a couple of places where we need to touch up paint.  They will remember the day, the food (hey, it's just that good) and that we're blessed to have young and old at the table together as family.  Funny how up until recently, we took just that for granted. 

WOO HOO!

I am oh-ficially caught up!! I was a week behind on reports, and it was weighing on me...and this week is the first week I'm teaching again after a 5 week break, so I've been spoiled by not having to grade, etc. I still have normal after the weekend grading to do, but I'm not BEHIND anymore. :) Some days, that's enough. Crap, most days getting close is enough!!

Perspective

Isn't it funny how fast your perspective can change? I was really self-centered yesterday and today. (Crap, every day, but those especially). Anyway, I have been so excited about having absolutely no plans this weekend, just getting to hang out around the house. Then we got a phone call from a good friend whose husband needed emergency surgery, and she asked if we could take care of her girls. Not a problem at all--luckily, James' dad was here to help out while we got everyone situated. The point is, here I'm thinking oh, things are so hard right now...and our friends are going through a life-changing medical experience. It's all about perspective, right?

Oh, and completely unrelated: go, Eagles!!! Danny Headley's BCA boys are still undefeated, and one win away from the state finals!! :)

All is right with my world...

...it's 10:22 PM, and I'm laying here on the air mattress in Kayci's room (that would be the same one I never put away after our guests a week ago, yup) with both kiddos, just listening to them breathe.  Poor James isn't feeling well, so I came in here to give him some space.  Laying here, listening to the heater turn on and off, listening to the kids just breathing, feeling Kayci's feet seek me out every little while, and Noble's hands doing the same...all is right with my world.  :)  Days like today when I get down and get too stuck in my own head, God reminds me that nothing is more important than these 3 things:  faith, hope and love.  I am blessed with an abundance of all 3, and it doesn't get much better than this.  

And now that leads me to one of our favorite car games...James & Kristi trivia.  This will be a special Kristi edition, thanks to me thinking about my verse now...

James & Kristi trivia (sorry, Ronny):  At our wedding, I didn't cry at all...until Ronny read the new testament verse.  It was cool until he finished reading, and said, "James and Kristi..." and his voice broke, and it was all over for me and my makeup...that darn Ronny.  Made me cry at my own wedding.  :)  I've always loved that verse and really wanted it to be a part of our wedding ceremony, but Ronny adding his own spin to it has just cemented it as my favorite verse ever.  When I'm really down, that's where I head, to faith, hope and love.  

Ooh, more Kristi trivia in the same vein:  Only one of the rings I wear has words (on the outside, anyway).  What are those words?  (faith, hope, love)   

Only one of my rings is engraved on the inside...which one, and what does it say?  (this one's a trick question--my wedding band, which I don't currently wear because I'm too fat and I refuse to ruin it by sizing it...I digress.  Anyway, James surprised me by having "forever" engraved in it.  I surprised him, too--James' wedding band says "I love you, Boy!")

How many rings do I wear everyday? (four)

Describe them.  (engagement ring--hammered silver, gold setting, blue topaz...faith/hope/love thumb ring...cross ring on right pointer...4 seasons ring on my right ring finer)  

I bet nobody but James & Lynn can tell me when I got each ring--

engagement:  not on October 18, 1997 when James originally asked me, but that spring when James saw the current ring and fell in love with it :)

faith/hope/love:  originally got one from James for my 25th birthday, but lost it

cross:  James bought Kayci and me matching rings for Mother's Day a few years ago :)

4 seasons:  James' 30th birthday gift to me (that, and a great surprise party!)

Last one, non-jewelry related:  In our dining room, we have a red sign with white script words that sums up our family priorities...It reads...  (faith * family* friends)

And to all a good night...time to go check on my boy!  And it's cold in here...wonder if he'll notice if I turn the heater up...

One foot in front of the other...

Today is the hardest day I've had in a long time.  It's been a rough week, rough few months.  It's so funny--most days, I'm okay.  As long as I concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, doing the things we do every day, I'm okay.  If I stay in the NOW, I'm okay.  Last week, I spent a lot of time in the past, working on Dad's birthday gift, journaling memories and thinking about how awesome life has been since that first positive pregnancy test 6 years ago.  And I apologize if anyone reading this takes this personally, but my parents have been there every step of the way.  I know that my close relationship with them is a blessing (believe me, sometimes it's a curse, we're so much alike and drive each other nuts sometimes!), and I'm further blessed that James loves them and accepts them and has allowed our families to be one for all of this time.  For years, I've just thought of Mom & Dad as one with us...the plan, for the past 3 years, has been for them to move up here and be with us when Mom retires.  Depending on when that is, we might buy a house to share or, hopefully, be able to afford a place that has a house & a guest house or at least a separate living area for them.  That probably strikes fear in some of your hearts, to think of sharing space with your parents.  Not me, for the most part.  :)  It's just kind of been the plan,  when my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's the 4 of us talked about it a lot and since then it's just been...the plan.  

Here I'll backtrack:  one of my biggest obstacles in my walk with God is my pride, my belief in my ability to be in control of things.  I know this, I accept this, I work on this.  And a lot of times, I'm pretty good at it.  Then something big happens and there it is again, blocking my path.  A few weeks ago in church the song "Ruin Me" reminded me of my own shortcomings, my struggle.  So I promised to do what I could, live in the now and take care of now first.  And for the most part, I'm doing it.

Tuesday night, Mom, Dad and I were talking about when Mom will retire.  That conversation, I think, unlocked something I've tried really hard to not think about this past few months.  I've said it with my mouth, but I haven't dealt with it in my heart.  The simple fact is, there are no guarantees.  Dad may NOT be here much longer, but honestly, I could drop dead right now at the computer.  So why am I grieving a possible change in plans, that hasn't happened yet and may not happen?  Why am I WORRYING so much?  Why can't I give that back to God...He's in control.  I know that--good thing, because I'd have completely screwed this one up.  God's doing great, my Dad has a great attitude and is at peace with everything.  

That's another thing--people talk about finding peace with losing someone.  Well, that's not it at all.  It's not finding peace with death--it's finding peace with how we've lived our lives.  Have we said what we needed to say, been who we needed to be?   God, help me to remember to work on those things each and every day, in every relationship.

I ramble.  These are the things on my mind today.  On top of everything else, James and I are dealing with some long-term birth control options and having to face the fact that I will not, cannot have another baby is another struggle right now.  That's kind of my Dad's fault, as well--sorry, Dad, know you didn't mean to make me sad--but yesterday we were talking and he said, there'll never be another one like him (Noble).  Not for a million dollars could you come up with another baby like Noble, or Kayci.  I know he's partial, but I agree.  (Of course, he feels that way about all of his grandkids, and I must say, my brothers have made some awesome kids, as well.)  For whatever reason, God has truly blessed James & me with amazing, fun, smart, kind, beautiful, wonderful kids.  I am grateful for that, for them, every single day--and just awed by the everyday blessings.  What I'm dealing with this morning is that we're not just talking about my body, protecting it...we're talking about no more babies for us.  That's tough.  But the thing is, we have to face it and deal with it--we've had 9 months to come to grips with the fact that I'm not able to have more babies, and now we have to figure out the best way to make that happen.  Sigh.  When we found out Noble was a boy, James joked, "we're done--there's our 2."  Well, he was half-joking, he only wanted two.  Looks like you win this one, Boy-o.  

Sorry to bum you out if you're reading.  Just needed to get it off my chest.  And if you're one of those people who've called and wondered why I didn't call back, I've got a lot on my mind this week.  This weekend, time at home with James & the kids, is what I need...a heaping dose of normal, to get me grounded once again in the now.

6 days out...

It's unusual for me to be offline so long, but chances are, y'all didn't miss it.  :)  I think it's been a busy week for everyone!  Things have been a bit surreal this week.  We had a great weekend last week, and it felt like when everyone left, so did my energy.  Not a bad thing, just a thing.  Monday morning Noble and I left at 5 to go to Houston to take Mom & Dad to the medical center for a test, but it turned out to be a consult.  So, we got home just in time to pick the girls up from school.  Tuesday we had to go to College Station to get my contacts, (but we did meet Lil and Dee at the Pomegranate first for some coffee and girl talk!) and of course we had to go to Gymboree and Target, which ended up taking most of the day.  We picked the girls up from school and went to the library for story time.  Wednesday was another 5 am commute, but instead of going straight to work I went to the doctor to talk about my weight.  I do love Dr. Zois, and I'm glad to be on track again to start losing and feeling better.  (Not that I feel bad physically, but I'm ready to have some energy again!)  The Pilot battery died while we were waiting there, so AAA came out and jumped it and we drove straight to NS to buy a new one.  Then I worked a bit, dropped Noble off for a nap at Mom & Dad's, and went back to work.  It was a good day, but I was just not really all in.  We had planned to go out to dinner Wednesday night, but Dad had a rough day and wasn't up to it, so Mom made soup & sandwiches.  It was good!  Noble and I stayed at their house since we had an 8:00 call time for Dad's endoscopy yesterday (just wasn't up to another 5 am commute, 3rd this week if you're counting).  Kayci cried when she found out we weren't coming home (we talked about it before I left, of course) but she had a great time with Paula's kids and then Daddy, so it wasn't a huge deal.  And apparently she got to sleep in my spot, so that made it worthwhile.  :)  

Dad had an endoscopic ultrasound yesterday, and it showed that he does need surgery (what I understand is that surgery is the only surefire way to beat cancer, guessing because it removes compromised cells...it's hard for the doctors to tell, by sight, which cells are cancerous and which are just damaged, so they are being conservative).  Anyway, now the task is to watch Dad get stronger and healthier so he's ready for surgery.  He goes to see the surgeon on Monday, so we'll know more then.  

That's really where my energy has gone this week--I try so hard not to worry, I know that's not my job, God's got it...but for some reason, this week I've been stressing.  I guess because I know more than anything Mom & Dad want to hear an all clear, but that's not the case.  It's cancer, and that's tough because there's no black and white path, no clear answers.  You've just gotta put one foot in front of the other and get through it.  Most days that's easy to do, but at times like now, when Dad gets to a fork in the road, the worry comes back.  So, will work on giving that back to God.  

Today's Friday, and I haven't been home yet this week.  It's grading day and I have mountains of laundry to get through in addition to regular housework and hanging out with Noble.  Not complaining, just got a lot on the agenda.  I'm behind in all 3 jobs today, but have faith I can catch up on at least 2...we'll see.  This weekend we have committed to a quiet weekend at home, and I can't wait.  The kids & I went shopping yesterday and bought food for the weekend--comfort stuff, like quesadillas, stuff to make our veggie soup, chili, homemade pizza...should be a good, quiet weekend.  Cross your fingers!

On Monday we'll check Kayci out of school early so she can go to Houston with us.  After I take Mom & Dad to the surgeon (the kids will go to KLC or stay with friends there), we're going to meet Lynn for dinner...will tell you more about that next week!  There are lots of great things happening in our lives right now, and with the holiday coming up next week, we're just grateful.

And before I go get Kayci up, just one more thing:  we are SO GLAD and grateful that Ronny's family is coming home to stay.  We love having them in Pflugerville, close enough for little league and soccer, lunch or dinner on the weekends.  Kayci has missed her cousins, and I've missed them all, too.  I didn't realize how much until Ronny told me they're coming home, and then it was like, oh, good...I can breathe again.  :)  

Happy weekend!  

Oh!  One more thing...Noble said "ma" a couple of times yesterday when he was talking to Grandma.  He's said it a few times since, so maybe he'll find a word for Mommy finally!

today!

I'm exhausted...but in a good way.  Today was a great day, start to finish--Dad woke up, feeling good enough to go out to eat for breakfast, Ronny surprised him...good day, great news, lots of hope for the holidays.  We had a great, NORMAL day...the first in a long time.  (Normal because we were just hanging out, but not quite normal as Amy & the kids weren't able to be here).  Ronny took Dad to HEB and they made a seafood feast for lunch (first time Dad's been in the kitchen since the hurricane!).  After lunch, Timmy & Emma came (Kayci had a blast with Emma, and Noble enjoyed getting to know Timmy).  Susie and Ward came, too.  By the time we got all of the candles lit on Dad's cake, the stinkin' cake melted...it was kind of gross, but fun, too.  :)    

Anyway, it was just a good day.  Looking forward to a great holiday season, and seeing Ronny's WHOLE family in December.  Can't wait!

And if you're counting...2 weeks from today, the Pharaons will be putting up a Christmas tree.  Wow!

Another day...

It's been kind of a crazy week, and I'm not sure why.  Poor Paula picked the girls up from school again today...for the 4th day in a row.  Seriously, I'm not sure what's up with this week.  Monday it all looked so promising!  I'm grateful that the kids are reasonably healthy, the house is reasonably clean, I'm not horribly behind with my work...

Am anxious about my Dad this evening, but so grateful to be able to celebrate his 65th birthday tomorrow.  Will see them, and just focus on being grateful to be with him.  Every day counts.  

Off to finish working on his birthday gift--I don't think they look at my blog, but don't want to spoil the surprise.  :)  

Monday, Monday...

Noble is officially fever-free...our house is officially back to normal, albeit normal Monday-messy...that's all the news that's fit to print.  I'm a happy MommyGirl!!!

Should I stay or should I go...

Day 4 of the fever...

Noble and I have been up since 3.  At about 4:45, I noticed our bedroom light was on so I went in to say good morning to James, let him know we were up (Noble and I went to the living room to see if vertical sleeping would help Darth Baby sleep...helped him, but not Mommy so much).  Anyway, James was putting on his shoes, getting ready to go work out.  

As he was leaving, he noticed that I was less than enthusiastic.  God love him, he was brave enough to ask, "are you grumpy that I'm going?"  (I've ruined the poor boy, he really does say things like that.)  And that one statement summed it all up, and I tried to explain it.  No, I'm not grumpy that James is going to work out--I'm GLAD because it makes him happy.  But what I told him is that I want to be able to go...I wouldn't go if I could, because of that sick, snotty baby sitting on the floor playing with BaBa, but I wish I could go.  I wish I could leave for 8 hours every day, get 8 hours of work done, come home feeling accomplished.  I wish I could  go work out each day so I can tackle some of MY issues.  I wish, in short, that I could GO.  

But, as I told James...I CAN GO.  I have opportunities to do all of those things, when it gets right down to it, and I choose to STAY.  I could have gone back to work, outside the house, full time this year.  But the thought of moving to Houston, exposing Kayci to the world we left behind, putting Noble in daycare, giving up this wonderful little life...no thanks.  I have to admit, the paycheck was tempting--until I realized that by the time we paid more for a house, more for daycare, etc. I'd make about the same I make now, from home.  And my kids wouldn't have the family life they have now, so no thanks.  

If you're not understanding this, then you're probably not a Mommy, and that's okay.  I'm not entirely sure James understood, or understands.  This week has been a bit rough, being on house arrest while my Dad was in the hospital and then yesterday, missing the big homecoming because of Feverish Floyd.  But it's okay, because I'm exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing.  Because truth be told, I have wonderful friends who would keep Noble, sick or no.  I have a wonderful friend who offered to keep him today so I can go on Kayci's field trip as planned.  So you see, I could GO.  But I can't, because I need to stay until he's better.  And deep down, as much as I want to go, I want to stay, too.

It's tough being the Mommy.  

Cuddly Bubby

This is how Noble and I spent most of the morning...the hand clutching the shirt came in when I tried to get up off the couch.  I had James snap this picture when he came in for lunch to relieve me so I could run a quick errand.  :)  

Disappointed

You know I'm not big on politics, but I am disappointed in America today for voting for someone based on Marketing.   Do the people who voted for him really understand his politics and policies, or did they vote for him because he's seen as cool and revolutionary?  I'm just too conservative at heart to have a lot of faith in a liberal President AND a liberal Congress--may God help us all.  

Looking for the silver lining--maybe they'll pour some much-needed funds into education, then forget that they're pro big-government and let educators actually decide how to spend the money.  Wait, that was a positive and negative in one...hmm.  Good enough for now.  See, that's me being open-minded.  

Cosmic Conspiracy?

I think it's time for me to listen.  Wednesdays are my working days--I'm supposed to be on the road by 5:15 so I can drop Noble at KinderCare and be at work by 8.  Theoretically, I'd work until 4:30 or 5, pick up the Bubby and head home.  Well, it's just not meant to be, for whatever reason.  There's a running joke in my house--Kayci gets sick on Friday nights (ear infections ALWAYS pop up around 1 am on Friday nights) and Noble gets sick on Tuesdays.  Today was no exception--he was very snotty and coughy and cry-y (have been chalking it up to the time & weather change), then I picked him up and he had a definite fever.  101 degrees, so we didn't pass go or collect $200...called the doctor and they got him right in.  Of course Kayci cried because it meant we missed story time, but what can you do?  So here I am, once again, with a sick Bubby who can't go to KinderCare tomorrow, so I can't go to work.  I will most likely haul the poor little guy into Houston with me to pick some things up (Sami's going country, as of tomorrow, and moving to our house) and go to a meeting.  I've missed the last 2 team meetings, and several Wednesdays of classroom visits.  Arrgh.  I know it's not about me...but seriously, it's just not funny.  I feel like such a Bozo each week telling the ladies I work for, and with, sorry, can't come in again...Noble's sick.  Seriously--I couldn't even LIE about him being sick this often.  So here we go again.

Sitting here watching election results, waiting for James to get home from his helicopter shoot.  (He's supposed to blog about it--some great pics!!)  Anyway, it's very confusing and very frightening...praying for our country this evening.  I need to make it a habit, I know.  

Weighty Issue

Bet you thought I was going to talk about the election again, huh?  Nope, nothing quite so lofty. 

So, Sunday our DR lesson was about insurance.  We learned a LOT, and luckily, we're in pretty good shape except for my life insurance & Noble's life insurance.  Yesterday DaddyBoy talked to the life guy and brought home the estimates, along with a form for me to fill out to see if I qualify for "preferred" rates.  I'm going down the form, feeling pretty smug--no tobacco, no DUIs, etc. etc.  Get all the way to the bottom with no "yes" answers, so I'm in.  And then I see it--the height/weight chart.  How sad that I've gotten to the point that I had to tell my husband that I'm over 40 pounds away from, in fact, being preferred.  Truth be told, I'm 60 pounds away from my goal weight--which is 22 pounds more than when James and I started dating.  Do the math, friends--it all adds up to how did I get here?  I could lose one of you readers--a whole person.  My weight is a hard, hard thing to face, but the truth is, I don't want Kayci to think of me as fat.  I don't want my size to limit what I can do as her Mommy.  Already (like now, after having Noble) it's a factor in what clothes I buy and wear, and how I feel in my clothes.  Bathing suit season this year was not fun...which is sad because LAST YEAR I got into my favorite Polo suit that I haven't worn since before Bitty.  :(  But regardless, it's time for a change.  Those donut holes probably weren't the best breakfast choice...I've got to work on what I put in my mouth, friends.  That's the biggest issue, other than everyone's "I don't have time to exercise." Sigh.  It kind of feels like now or never, and never can't be an option.  I want to be a cute mom, by gosh!  Not to mention that I want James to look at me and see Kristi legs, not just had a baby legs.  Sigh again.

Oh, well--the good news is, the energy fairy came after all and she's helping me scurry around and get recycling, etc. done while Noble's napping.  Just had to stop and put this into words, as it's weighing on me this morning.  Ha freakin' ha. 

Blah blah blah

I'm tired, you guys. After last week--as much as we had time to sit and "rest" at the hospital, it's still exhausting--then the time change, which has totally thrown Noble for a loop, I'm just done. No energy! Poor little guy is sleeping and has been for 2 hours and I've gotten NOTHING done. A bit of work, but that's it. Sigh.

Am waiting for the energy fairy to come visit...

A whole new world...

I admit it, when I go to my friends' blogs, sometimes I'll click on THEIR friends' blogs. Tonight I went to Brenda's blog to see if she'd posted Halloween pics, yet (ahem. Well, we haven't either) and saw one of her friends had a fun background...so now I've gone toile. What fun! Too busy, I think, but it's fun to have some of my favorite things here...

The Adventures of MommyGirl

I sent poor James out into the wilds of Destructoville for having his own views on the family blog, so I feel like turnabout is fair play.  I have lots of random thoughts (I know, shocking!) that don't really have anything to do with family news, so I figured why not create a space of my own?  

I won't do an e-mail update, I figure it's like my house--pop in when you have some time.  :)

So many things to say...where to begin?

James is going to ask me why a list...I'm practicing gratitude.  And it's like the song says, when I'm down or things look tough, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad.  Thanks, Lynn, for that gift that keeps on giving.  (11 years later!)