Of course we got home a few hours behind schedule, and the closer we got to Brenham, the more stressed I could feel myself (and my Boy, who still had to go to the office) becoming. We got home and hit the ground running, hustling from taking staff appreciation invites to the school, to paying our utility bill, to helping a sweet friend paint polka dots in her daughter's bedroom. We went from there to Maifest practice to a late dinner...and came home just in time to put the kiddos to bed an hour late. Sound like your Monday?
And then Noble got sick in the middle of the night (cross your fingers it's just allergies, not a virus). We finished the night on the couch, and everyone got a good night's sleep despite the interruption.
I woke up stressed out, though, because I'd gone back to sleep last night running through my to-do list for today and tomorrow. You know the Mommy drill: trying to decide what's mandatory, what can be pushed back, what errands I can run (and when) if he really IS sick, predicting if I'll be able to go to work tomorrow...it's exhausting.
So that's how I woke up this morning--stressed. I tried to slow down my overactive brain and spend some quiet time with my prayer journal and Bible study, but I wasn't successful. By the time James got back from the gym, I was dressed and heading to Wal-Mart to get the rest of the stuff we needed for Staff Appreciation today. Then I buzzed back home, grabbed Kayci, and headed up to school to get set up. My thought is that I'll be able to take Noble and let him watch my phone in a corner...but if he IS sick, I wanted everything to be ready for the other volunteer today.
Add ice cream, and our ice cream float staff appreciation event is ready to go.
But that's not really the point, either. While I was rushing around and stressing, James was holding down the fort here, making pancakes and ushering kids through a belated Monday morning. He went from that to changing a nasty diaper to to rushing out the door, hoping to make it to the Chamber on time.
This isn't how our day is supposed to be, and whenever it gets like this I get so frustrated with myself for slipping back into my old habits and replaying my old scripts.
So, I quit. This is the text I just sent to my Boy:
I'm calling a do-over on my attitude & busy-ness & stress today...going to sit back down with my Bible and start over. Today's focus is the verse in our living room, Phill. 4:8-9. Seems like a good place to start.
Loving you big-enjoy your day, and rest easy knowing all's well here. The Bubby will be loved, the laundry will get done...it will be a great day, no matter what comes our way.
I meant every word. I'm sitting in the red chair with Noble hanging on my leg, watching Diego. I'm going to put my phone down and dive back into my Bible Study (Phillippians 4:8-9--how perfect for this morning!). When I'm done, I'll get back to laundry and unpack from yesterday...or play with my Bubby. But no matter what happens, I'm refocused and calm again.
Here's the point, if you're still reading: we CAN rewrite the scripts we play in our heads. At any point, we can hit the brakes on our stressed-out selves and turn our attitudes around. I am always going to be busy, because that's my choice.
Because that's my choice, I can't complain about it. I'm making myself accountable to you--if you hear me complain about being stressed or busy, call me on it.
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