We meet again.
I woke up this morning with a different outlook, however, and that cute outfit didn't seem like a good idea. It felt...false. As I was outside cleaning gutters (yes) in my grubbies and unwashed hair (which with this wire, means pure fuzz), I realized that I'd already been seen in carline looking like a washwoman. And my family sees me like this every day. So why would I try to put a different ME on my blog just because of a photo challenge?
And it all fit in nicely with what God's working on with me this week. To the outside world, I present a picture of someone who has it together. On the inside, when I let it all hang out, I see the truth. I don't have it all together. In the past couple of days, I've seen a huge amount of sin in my closest relationship, and that's hard to deal with. Especially as it's my sin. I didn't want to see it, have refused to look at it for years, in fact, but there it is. There comes a time when you have to quit running from it. My time was Sunday, right before and after I took that picture of James heading off to the Super Bowl.
And every moment since, this has been first and foremost in my mind.
I've got a lot of 'splainin to do.
But we'll leave it at that for now.
Yesterday I sent a picture to my friend when she asked what I was doing. I sent a picture of photos and CRAP spread all over my room. She texted back, "I love that you're in the picture, too!" Sure enough, there I was in the mirror.
So that's my self-portrait today. Amidst my mess.
With dirty clothes and dirty feet from washing the deck, and toes I touched up last night but left messy because that's how I roll. It'll come off in the shower, right? Guess I'd better shower. :/
Last week a friend from high school posted a Valentine's Day challenge on her facebook page. She challenged everyone to take 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 and replace the word "love" with our name. i.e., "Kristi is patient, Kristi is kind..."
Yikes. Yeah, I didn't fare so well. Sure, I do okay with those things out in public, but at home with my family? Nuh uh. So I guess that's when it started clicking that I've got a LOT of work to do.
Sunday evening, I busted out some chalkboard vinyl and threw this up over my desk so I'll see it often. Instead of replacing "love" with my name, though, I put in "respect."
So that's my goal--respect. In my relationship with my Boy, in my home, period.
Wish me luck, friends. This would be the OPPOSITE of my self-portrait right now...
Oh, yeah. I left the cute outfit hanging up to wear to work tomorrow. Here I am all clean and stuff. The only full-length mirror in our house is currently graffiti-ed with love notes for Daddy, and I didn't feel like a photo challenge was sufficient reason to wipe it off. So here I am, in all my graffitied glory.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch date with my family under the stars. :)