When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.
It's a Mother's Day tradition around here for me to stay in bed until DaddyBoy and the kids bring in cards and coffee (and these past few years, breakfast in bed). As I sat here waiting, I was making a list of all of the women who have taught me how to be a Mommy and a Mother and a Mom. The list is long...to write it down would be, inevitably, to accidentally omit someone.
I can very safely start the list, though, with these two women and this little girl. Mom and Grandma taught me how to be a Mom, and Kayci taught me--is teaching me--what it is to be a Mommy.
I love being a Mother, and I am honored to be a Mommy. It's something I always wanted to experience, but until I got pregnant with Kayci, I had no idea what it meant. Until they laid her on my chest that first day, I had no idea. To be a mother is to love so much that it hurts sometimes, and to see glimpses of God every single day. Every single day, I see my Mom and Grandma in what I do and how I do it (which is mostly a good thing!).
And every single day, I work to be more, do more, love more.
Four years ago, I thought our family was complete. Just when I stopped hoping for another child, Kayci made a birthday wish and we were blessed with Noble Orion. Where to even start with him? If Kayci has taught me about love, and wanting to be a better person, Noble has taught me to not take myself so seriously. He's taught me about joy and silliness. (Not that we didn't have these things in our lives before, but just in different measures.)
I often wonder what my kids will remember about me, what they'll want to carry into their own parenting and what they'll leave behind. I pray they'll talk to me every day like I talk to my Mom, and that they'll want to see me often. I pray I'll be a part of their children's daily lives and memories.
Of course, only time will tell, and I'm in no hurry--
every day right now is such a beautiful adventure.
I look at these kids and I see FAITH. I see HOPE.
And I see LOVE...shining and reflected, always growing.
I am so blessed.
Thank You, God, for my Mom, and for her Mom,
and for letting me be Mommy to these knuckleheads.