Slipping Through My Fingers...

Every day on the way to school, Kayci and I listen to "Slipping Through My Fingers." I know Kayci is only 6, but already it feels like there's this giant Wizard of Oz hourglass with sand just pouring through...time is going so fast, and she's changing and growing so fast. Already she needs me less, and I know the days are coming when she won't want me, either. She's not a big girl but not a little girl, either...she's somewhere in between, and I think there are times that this frustrates the heck out of her. (It's not easy for me, either, by the way, but I know that she'll live through it--she doesn't.) Kayci...I don't blog about her as much as I do about Noble, just because nobody wants to hear (well, my Mom would love it!) every day about how awesome Kayci is. Because she is. I've never met another child quite like her, and I'm so grateful that I LIKE her so much (loving her's a given...come on!). There are days, of course, that I don't like the attitude she's trying on that day, but luckily those times pass quickly. It's times like yesterday, when we sat down together to work on her San Antonio scrapbook, that I wish I could freeze.

And now today it all starts again...we've got a crazy busy week coming up, and there are a million opportunities, it feels, for the big kid to get lost in the shuffle. But at the same time, I have to focus on the times that I can and do focus on her...taking her to school in the mornings, taking her to work with me on Wednesday, going on her field trip Friday, fixing her hair in the mornings, reading with her in the evenings...these are all times that are just about her. I hope these are the times she remembers, and not the times that we're asking her to watch Noble for a second so he doesn't hurt himself or telling her to wait a second while we finish changing/cleaning/pulling Noble down from something.

I know we can't hold back the sands of time...but my prayer is that I stay really present and cherish each grain that slips through my fingers. I know they can't all be big moments (thank God for that!), but the sum of the little moments is what makes up our memories, and our life, and our attitude about the world. I wonder what my kids will remember?

"Slipping Through My Fingers"

ABBA

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness

And I have to sit down for a while

The feeling that I'm losing her forever

And without really entering her world

I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter

That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table

Barely awake, I let precious time go by

Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling

And a sense of guilt I can't deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures?

The places I had planned for us to go?

(slipping through my fingers all the time)

Well, some of that we did but most we didn't

And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture

And save it from the funny tricks of time

Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...