Be Careful What You Wish For

It's been a great summer. Here towards the end, though, I've been stressing a bit (okay, a LOT) about the work that I need to do before school starts and yes, even whining to James about needing time to get things done. The house is running smoothly, my day-to-day work is running smoothly, but I haven't been able to carve out time to do some writing and some "big" things that I need to wrap up before school. I knew I had a workshop in Houston this week, and I asked James if I could take this opportunity to grab a hotel room and have a couple of nights to just work and get stuff DONE...and when it all worked out and everyone was settled happily, I patted myself on the back.

But you know what? Turns out, I don't work so well in a hotel room. It's quiet here--I'd forgotten what that sounds like. I'm alone here...truly alone, not "they'll be back any second!" alone. Honestly, I'm lost here. It used to be a fantasy of mine--hotel room all to myself for 24 hours, I'd turn down the AC and watch bad TV and read a good book. Well, I've done some of that but I'd rather just be home, not watching TV and not having time to read. (And not cranking down the AC to try to keep our utility bill reasonable!)

I've been really, really stressed about the work I need to do in the next couple of weeks...and now that I've had some "good" time to work, I'm still a little stressed. But more than stressed, I'm relieved. It's crazy, isn't it? I'm relieved to know that I'm where I'm supposed to be in life, that I do, truly, work best at home. As it turns out, I'm more productive when I work for a while then get up to go switch out the washer and dryer. I'm more productive when I'm typing furiously hoping to get something done before the kids come seek me out or Noble climbs on the table. I'm more productive in that 30 minutes before everyone wakes up than I've been in 3 hours here with no interruptions.

So now instead of lamenting the lack of time and quiet at home, I need to just get busy. I got what I wished for, and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. So now I'll go home and make it work. I know that I need to seriously overhaul my daily schedule once the kids and I start school again, but I'm ready to do it. Last year I just sort of drifted from week to week, day to day, minute to minute...and it didn't work. This year I have a goal (being debt-free!! helping our PPCD program grow!! staying on top of my Region 4 responsibilities!!) for each of my jobs (well, technically there are two more now, but we'll talk about that later) and a clear vision of what I need to get done to achieve those goals. Now I just have to make myself make it happen. The good thing is, I can do what I need to do and still not take time away from my family...I've just got to be disciplined about getting up early to work and maximizing my time while the kids are at school. I think I've gotten really good at running our house...but really unrealistic. I do all of the "work" when everyone's out of the house, but I need to reclaim that time as work time. I think I need to actually set work hours during the day and stick to them. We'll see. Maybe I'll use this as an excuse to buy a book I've been wanting about working from home. Who knows...

The good thing is, I've seen the world that I wished for. A quiet, peaceful world where Mommy could work and get things accomplished. And now I want to go back to my crazy world! I cannot wait to go home tomorrow and go get Kayci and just be home for a bit. Well, until Friday afternoon when I head back this way for a meeting. :) But seriously...I feel so good about where I'm headed now. Bring it on, 2009-2010!!!