Wiring

People are wired differently.  If you're married, you know that all too well.  I was talking to my Mom this morning (while I was waiting at Sonic for my ice water with lemon...I know, I know the styrofoam is horrible for the planet but I NEED it to get through the day...) and she asked me what I was going to do today.  Well, I'd planned to get in a full day of work today, but as I talked to her I was thinking of the fresh hell that was my house about 3 hours ago.  And then I started thinking about boy brains and girl brains, and how differently James and I think about the house and chores, etc.  I got a little grumpy with him for a bit as I was thinking this through (sorry, Boy), but then I realized...in my head, James NOT doing something registers as him doing something to ME.  Case in point:  he sorted clothes, but didn't do laundry.  So for 4 days now, we've been walking on these huge piles of clothes in the hallway.  And yes, I've been grumpy about it.  Now you and I both know that James INTENDED to be helpful and have laundry done before we came home, and we surprised him by coming home early.  You and I both know that he doesn't HAVE to do laundry at all, as it's not in our deal (our deal:  he does dishes, I do laundry.  It works for us, this deal.)  But still, not so deep down, I've been grumpy about those stupid piles of laundry since they haven't gone anywhere on their own in the past few days.  And this is where the wiring comes in--in James' boy brain, he helped by pulling all of the laundry out of the hamper.  (And he did.)  In my girl brain, he made a mess.  And because it's MY girl brain, furthermore, why didn't he just DO his own laundry while we were gone for two weeks?  Because, in his boy brain, he doesn't DO laundry.  It's not in the deal.  So why, in my girl brain, would I assume that laundry was even anywhere IN his brain?  It doesn't live there.  It doesn't even visit there.

In this equation, I'm the one who's wrong.  James hasn't done anything at all wrong--in fact, quite the opposite.  He's been so supportive this entire school year as I've been half here and half with Dad, mentally, emotionally and physically.  He hasn't complained once about lost time or lost weekends or the laundry that never really got finished after the fire...or any of the things that have been "off" around here because I've been "off."  

So in the little booth at Sonic this morning, I gave myself a good talking to.  Then I came home and cleaned a bit before I sat down to work.  (I'm back at the dining room table because I need to clean off my work table and my desk again...don't judge me.)  And yes, I'm running laundry while I work today, if for no other reason than to get it out of the tiny little hallway so I don't get irritated every time someone steps on the clothes.  Again, that's my wiring that's bad...not anyone else's.  

I recognize that I'm just too OCD for my own good, and I need some little come to Jesus moments like my Mom inadvertently inspired this morning so I can stress less and smile more at my family.  :)   Alrighty, back to work.  Two minute blog break...check.  Huge long list of things to accomplish still today...check, check.  Attitude adjusted, check.  Sitting here having warm, fuzzy thoughts about my husband and kiddos instead of cataloguing the messes they've made in the past 48 hours...check!  And my work here is done...