06 February 2012

What are you going to do today?

It's a simple question.  A variation of it that we ask each other every morning is, "what does your day look like?"  The past week+ has been a little tough around here, but I'm happy to report DaddyBoy is on the mend and back at work.  It's a good thing, as I'm not as kind and patient of a nurse/caregiver/servant as I was 10 days ago.  I think I'm almost as ready as he is for him to be back at 100%.  (Disregard the grammar, okay?  It's my journal.)

We had a great morning here today.  You know when you have a bad morning, it kind of colors the whole day?  I think the same is true of a good morning...it makes everything just a little brighter, a little lighter, a little easier.  I have to be honest, I was a bit worried about this morning.  It's the first day we're all going to be apart after several days together, the first day Daddy's at work, the first day we all have to get around and be someplace...but it was awesome.  The kids were champs, and I didn't have to redirect or repeat myself ONCE.  That was amazing in itself, enough to make my whole day!

Today as I walked my Bitty in to school, she looked up and said, "What are you going to do today, Mommy?"  

Simple question.  But the answer is not so simple today.  I could list 100 things I 

should do,
could do,
would do...if I had time/money/space/motivation...
want to do,
have to do,
need to do,
ought to do,
might do.

So here's what I've done so far:

I came home, ate breakfast (didn't have time before school), sorted clothes, mocked up a Valentine project Kayci wants to try this afternoon, started a load of laundry, washed dishes, checked e-mail, texted a few people back and forth for work and PTO, caught up on my quiet time that I didn't finish this morning, was humbled...and now I'm reviewing my mental list of things I need to do today and revising it.  And blogging, because I haven't spent the time I needed in quiet time or journaling this past 10 days and I am worn down from not taking that time.  I am worn down from serving, serving, serving...and I wish so badly I could serve selflessly.  I'm not there, yet.  

Why do we, as women, believe not only that we CAN do it all, but that we SHOULD do it all, and that somehow doing less than that is failure?  How many times do I hit this brick wall, step back, shake it off and laugh at myself for getting caught up in my madness?  

I don't have a lot of "shake it off" in me right now.  My tank is running a little low, but it's a temporary thing, I know.  

What am I going to do today?  

I'm going to enjoy the silence.
I'm going to hand-write several thank you notes.
I'm going to drink lots of water.
I'm going to heat leftovers instead of cooking--and in doing so, save money AND clean out the fridge.
I'm going to write on some birthday cards and mail a little love to friends and family.
I'm going to do laundry for my family.  
I'm NOT going to sweep the floor.  A little dust and dirt won't kill anyone before tomorrow.
I'm NOT going to go to the grocery store until after we pick Kayci up from school; I've just decided that's 30 minutes of my kid-less time I don't want to spend today, I'll take the kids with me later.  And then probably blog tomorrow about what a mistake it was to take 2 kids to the store at the end of the school day...nah.  They're good kids.  :)
I'm going to be kind to my husband when he comes home for lunch, and let home be a refuge for him instead of another place to hear people complaining.  I don't want to be that wife.  
I'm going to give myself some time to rest a bit, and hopefully, get refreshed.  
I'm going to burn some calories, even if it's just a good walk around the block.  
I'm going to get some work done.
I'm going to pray for a little boy who's in the hospital right now, and for his Mommy and Daddy who must be exhausted and scared and grateful he's going to be okay...and for the friends who saw his accident who must be struggling, too.  
I'm going to thank God for my many blessings, healthy kids and mending husband being at the top of the list.  
I'm going to ask God to replenish my patience...I'm clean out with some people in my life.  Thank You, God, that my knuckleheads are not on THAT list.  We had a great afternoon/evening/morning together...I'm grateful for that.  Sometimes I take the good times for granted, you know, and that makes the tough times seem even tougher.  I find it's better for me if I'm thankful for the good--it keeps the not so good in perspective, and reminds me that the good times will be back before I know it.  

So, when Kayci gets in the car after school today, she'll ask me what I did today.

And I'll tell her what I always tell her:  Oh, I worked a little, did a little housework, not much.  :)
And I'll tell her, like I always do, that I spent some time missing her while she was at school.  It's the truth, especially on a Monday...after so much family time, it's hard to go our separate ways and I look forward to being under the same roof again later today.

What are YOU going to do today? 

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