29 October 2011
I've been working on this scripture for the past two weeks. It's one of my favorites, actually. It wasn't until the last day of the two weeks that it HIT me, though: this is about so much more than not being selfish.
When I start putting work and outside commitments ahead of my family's needs and my needs...when my house is filthy but my PTO book is perfectly organized, or I don't have time to cook but I have time to bake for this commitment or that commitment...things are out of whack. This shows up in my attitude, in my time management, in my relationship with my husband and of course, the behavior of my children. My attitude--ugh. It has NOT been a good one for the past week or so. And it's shown in my relationships and my home and my life.
As long as I keep first things first, life is good. If I make time for God each day, and time for my Boy, and keep talking to both of them, life is good. If I do those two things, the kid part is infinitely easier. If I take time for quiet time each morning, my spirit is quiet and I can be more patient. If I can put my selfishness aside and serve my husband and children with a happy heart, our house is happy.
This doesn't mean I deny myself everything and never take time for myself--it just means that I need to work harder at keeping first things first...and spend less time looking for things to be unhappy about. Am I the only woman who gets a little grumpy, then starts mentally cataloging ALL of the things I COULD be grumpy about, then all of a sudden my life feels like a mess and I'm unhappy and it's probably my Boy's fault so I get grumpy with him and then he's grumpy and then everything goes downhill...all because I got stuck in a self-centered rut and started listening to the unhappy lies in my head instead of looking at the truth of it all: my life is good. I am blessed beyond imagining. The petty stuff is just that--petty. Petty distractions that don't matter in the grand scheme of things, yet it's so easy to spend time focusing on those things and not looking at the big picture of blessings.
Life is good. Shame on me for looking down and losing sight of that.