YIKES!

Stepped on the scale this morning and automatically regretted it...I'd gained TEN pounds back of the fifteen I'd lost.  Man...

...then I realized I was doing the math wrong.  I've gained back THREE--not bad, coming off a vacation with my family.  

I was freaking out, thinking, man, how on earth did I not feel ten pounds?

hee hee

Still on track...

That's my girl!

Kayci's up early this morning...I think she did it on purpose so she could do yoga with me before we start our day.  Now that's my girl!  :)

Just Breathe

My friend Amanda, whenever she teaches a workshop on the brain-body connection, will (kinda!) joke, "breathing's a good hobby--we should all take it up." We always giggle, then go back to our individual crazy breathing habits. Even sitting here right now I can tell that I'm not breathing properly. Wait for it...man, it's hard to do. Anyway, so I broke out my new yoga DVD this morning (technically, I got up at 4 to work but just felt like I needed to do something else first...). It felt good, even just for 30 minutes, to get reacquainted with my body. Sounds silly, unless you've been there. As I stretched and breathed, I thought, man...how easy is this? It felt good, when I wasn't beating myself up over tight muscles that didn't quite make the poses look as easy as the instructor's. I won't focus on that part...it'll come back. Crap, it's been over 6 years (yup) since I practiced regularly. Crazy, isn't it? It's hard to remember the days when I could truly write "yoga" down as one of my hobbies. Who knows if I'll get back there again--maybe this is just a bridge to a new and different type of workout. Whatever's coming, it felt good today to spend half an hour just breathing...and being.

In my Bible Study group, one of the women said that one of her biggest roadblocks to spending quiet time with God was her own inability to bend and accept that the stars don't have to align perfectly every morning at your designated time so that everything is perfect and in place for spending time with God. He'll come--even if the floor is dirty, or the coffee isn't quite up to your standards. God's waiting for us to spend time with Him, and He looks forward to it. That helped me more than you can imagine...I was that guy, so to speak. You guys know me--when I have a project to do, rather than sitting down to work I'll clean and organize the house. Get everything "perfect" so I can "focus" on my task. Well, I'm thinking, as I sit here surrounded by cheerios and who knows what on the floor that those days are over for me, so I'm grateful to be released from that need, so to speak. The house isn't perfect, I'm not wearing "yoga clothes," and nope, I haven't had my coffee, yet. But I exercised ANYWAY. And it felt just as good--and I was able to clear my mind. Pretty cool, when the laptop was sitting right here the whole time, waiting to remind me that I've got a big job to finish this morning. I'll get to it...after I drink my coffee and just savor the quiet, get back in touch with ME again after a few days away from home. I've got list upon list of things I need to accomplish this week, but the me who's growing up a little more each day realizes that if I don't take care of "me" a little bit, too, then I'll be good for nothing.

Mom & Dad come home today, and it'll be a sprint from here to surgery. Ready, set...you know what, not today. Today I'm going to enjoy being home. I'm going to get my work done. I'm going to be a good Mom. By the way, guess who's learned to CLIMB? Ahh, forget yoga, I'll be moving PLENTY today. Anyway, today's a good day. Let it begin...

Click to donate free mammograms...

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on 'donating a mammogram' -- for free (pink window in the middle). This does not cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate a mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Please pass it along.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Great jewelry made by great people...

Many of you have asked about my typewriter key bracelet; here's the website.  :)  

http://stores.tabtypewriterkeyjewelry.com/StoreFront.bok

One of the ladies at Paula's church made her a necklace as a baby gift...I absolutely fell in love.  Here's her website, as well--make sure you share this one with your husbands, girls!

http://nicholaslandonjewelry.blogspot.com/

This is the life...

So, I skipped Bible Study today so I could work on my project (due tomorrow, if you're keeping track).  Things were going great...Noble put himself to sleep on the way home from dropping Kayci off and running a couple of mini-errands, we were home by 8:15 and it was looking very promising.  For 45 minutes I ran around and got ready to work (I'm Kristi, so that meant I had to finish the things I'd started yesterday/this morning, clean a bit, clear the pile of things to file off the desk...) and then, about 2 minutes away from actually sitting down to work...he woke up.  So much for my 3 hour nap day (we're due, darn it!) theory...

Now I'm sitting on the couch, he's just gone back to sleep, all cuddled up beside me doing that sweet little baby snore/sigh thing...too amazing a moment to be frustrated.  I'll get my work done, but I'll never get this moment back.  It's taken me years to really GET that, and I do forget it at times and get impatient...but what a gift.  

Ooh, status report for Brenda before I go...

1.  I am so keeping up with my Bible Study!  (It's all about parenting, so very helpful AND uplifting!)  Our bathroom mirror is littered with verses from my study and verses Kayci's learning for Awana.  :)

2.  I have been blessed with a reduced appetite--sounds so stupid, but seriously, it was hard to go back to FEELING hungry all of the time.   I keep a food diary and that's really made me think--literally--about every bite I put into my mouth, weigh drinking water vs. something with calories, etc.  It's helped a LOT...that, and I'm eating healthier for the most part.  Not perfectly, because that's just not me.  :)

3.  And lastly, I have checked out yoga classes here and sadly, there are none for me.  But, I did meet Lauren yesterday and she helped me pick out a yoga DVD, so I will be starting yoga SOON.  Maybe tomorrow...right now I need to focus on the project I'm not actually doing as I'm blogging...hmm.

4.  So yes, we're fine in '09, girlfriend!

Fine Line Between Denial and Submission

I was on my way into Houston this morning for a pretty big appointment with my Dad's oncologist, and while I was talking to Paula I realized I hadn't handed any of this over in prayer today.  So Noble was sleeping and I had some quiet time, and I prayed.  One thing that keeps coming back to me is that I feel like I should DO something or FEEL something...but I really have peace about the whole situation.  So I was praying about that, and I wondered if maybe I'm not at peace but in denial.  And clear as day, the answer came back--there's a fine line between denial and submitting to God's will.  Maybe in this case He wants me to accept the situation for what it is and just be there for my parents as they go down this path.  That was a pretty big leap for me, and it's stuck with me all day.  

Here's the thing:  this is my Dad's fight, and it's my Mom's privilege and duty to stand beside him.  My role as a child is to stand behind them, hold them up when they get tired of fighting and then step back when they're strong enough to stand again.  I can't fight any of the battles for them, but I can be there as an observer and offer observations when they ask.  That's pretty much my role when I go with them to the different appointments, to step back and be an observer, ask questions and clarify to make sure everyone's on the same page.  

Where Dad is now:  he will have surgery soon (within the next month, it sounds like).  They'll know more about that after confirming the surgeon and meeting with him, but that's where they're heading.  Dad has asked to go to Rockport for a last fishing trip (hopefully last for a while, but realistically...) so they'll leave next week.  And after that, I think our whole world's going to be upside down for a while.  The surgery is huge, and risky.  The recovery is long and again, there are risks.  It won't be easy on either Dad or Mom, so please keep them in your prayers.   I'll keep you posted.  

My Big Redneck Wedding

It's been a long day--a great day, but a long day nonetheless.  Noble's either getting sick or getting a tooth...either way, he's been very fussy and clingy.  After I put them down tonight I got a burst of energy and got a LOT accomplished--for my reward, I'm sitting on the couch now watching "My Big Redneck Wedding" on the laptop.   Apparently we missed a whole season somewhere...I just watched the first episode, and it was the sweetest brother-sister wedding I've ever seen.  Yup.  This is why reality TV is so bad for me...

Facebook

Oh, my.  Peer pressure made me do it--I finally got on Facebook.  If I get fired from one of my gigs or end up with neglected children, y'all are in big trouble.

Happy 2009!

I'm way excited about the new year--we've got a lot of great things happening in our lives, and hearts.  James and I are on the same page and full speed ahead as we get our finances straightened out once and for all.  It's not that we were in trouble at all--we are pretty normal, after all, with our credit cards and financed cars.  We've just decided we're done sending so much of our paychecks out after money we spent a long time ago, so we're committed to being DEBT-FREE (other than the cars!) before he turns 35 next March.  So, watch here for our progress.  I won't bore you any more with details, but I will say that since we went through Financial Peace University at church, we've made TONS of progress not just in what we've done but in how we think & feel.  I think that's what's been 'off' this whole time--our attitudes about money.  So now we're living from a budget, no more Discover Card (I will probably miss it more later...but it didn't hurt a bit to cut it up the other day, and it'll feel great to pay it OFF after January 15th!).  

Enough about that part...I've also, since the whole diet pill debacle, committed to being ME again in 2009.  With everything that's happened in the past year, from having a baby to Dad's illness to Kayci going to school to learning how to be a working Mommy, I've just lost track of ME in everything.  So, starting tomorrow, I'm joining a Bible Study at church.  I'm going to call today to find out about yoga classes here in town, and get MOVING again.  Friday night I might even go to a scrapbook night at church...I get a little excited to think about my closet MINUS the boxes of memorabilia waiting to be preserved in scrapbooks...

Anyway, the point is, I've taken a good long look at my life and identified some things I can do to make myself even happier.  So, away we go...

Oh, and PS, although I'm not concentrating on this so much:  yes, I'm committed to eating right and losing the rest of this weight in 2009.  I'm still bitter that I'm not watching it melt off but I'd rather be fluffy and losing slowly than thin and dead...or divorced.  I can laugh about it now, but to think that just TWO WEEKS AGO I was ready to get divorced, but didn't know why...crazy stuff!