My house is a wreck. Like, it's not just cluttered with projects that need to be finished and decorations that need to be hung and recycling that needs to be recycled and papers that need to be filed...it's dirty.
Baseboards, window sills, blinds, ceiling fans, nooks and crannies, floors...dirty.
I told James yesterday that I was going to clean house before I did anything else today.
But then this morning as I was getting dressed, I started thinking about time management. Here's how my day would have gone if I had my druthers: I would have taken the kids to school, picked up laundry detergent because I forgot it at the store yesterday, then I would have gone home to clean for a couple of hours. Which would have been more like four, because every job I would start would remind me of something else. And at the end of the four hours, I would still have tons to do, and my paid work would still be undone. And I would still feel like I have a gorilla sitting on my chest.
Instead, I counted up my work hours this week--I'm looking at a minimum of 46.
4 jobs, 3 employers.
That means I will clean house at night like the rest of the working moms out there, or it won't get done. But my paid work? It has to get done, because I can't handle the stress of letting so many people down when they're paying me to be better, to do better.
So I'm working this morning instead of cleaning. Until the job is done. And when it's done, I'll head home to turn 30 Twinkies into Minions for my favorite 7 year old's birthday treat at school.
And then I'll take two car loads of kids to after school activities (4 elementary, 4 middle school).
I'll pick one up at 4:45 and one up at 6. In between I'll cook soup and bake bread (both are already in the freezer, so that'll be easy). And I'll play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots and read and listen and hug and talk and just BE with my people.
And then I'll clean house.
And go to sleep.
And wake up at 4 in the morning to head to Houston. I discovered on Friday that the elusive 90 minute commute is possible...if I leave at or before 5 am. Which means more time to work and less time in the car, which is a win-win.
Wednesday, I'll be all Kids' Ministry until lunchtime, then I'll finish grading my online classes before the after school runs.
Crap, I gotta work grading into my schedule tonight, too.
Thursday, maybe I'll fit in a work out. Fingers crossed! I'll go watch the 1st grade program at 2 and clap really loud for my Bubby and his friends.
Friday, I was going to volunteer at Kayci's school but work calls, instead. I'm going to have to get back early to take Noble and friends to Chuck E. Cheese for his birthday, but I can do it if I get there early enough.
Then Saturday? Saturday, blessed Saturday, is spring break.
That means 1 of my jobs goes away for 9 whole days.
Poor James doesn't get a spring break--he'll start his weekend with 3 photo shoots.
Why do I write all of this? Because I'm struggling with time management, and struggling to make sense of why I always feel so busy and behind. I realized that people don't actually know what I do for a living, so when I'm back on social media I'll share more about work. Because I don't want to be two dimensional, I want to be real.
And real? Right now?
It's a dirty house, and undone work.
It's happy kids and family time.
It's figuring out what makes it to the top of the to-do list and what can wait.