01 July 2016

The First Time

They say you never forget your first time...and they're totally right.  The other day at the pool, I was swimming laps (okay, A lap) with Noble and suddenly, I was a kindergartener again at the pool in Round Rock.  

I remember, vividly, viscerally, the first time I quit.  

It was the final day of swim lessons, and all I had to do was swim across the pool (the width, not the length).  To this day, I remember what I felt like, moving through the water...I remember looking at the side, maybe 10 feet away, and KNOWING that I could make it...but for some reason, choosing to put my feet down and quit swimming.  To this day, I don't know why I quit.  But I do know this:  quitting, like any other skill, gets easier with practice.  

7th grade basketball tryouts:  the lay-up was difficult for this uncoordinated girl.  Rather than ask for help or try harder, I quit.

Soccer.  Same thing.  Quit--before tryouts that time, I was a pretty accomplished quitter by then.

Dance team, cheerleader?  Didn't even try.

How many times have I been running and just decided to quit moving when it got hard?  Can't even count, but I remember some of those times like it was yesterday.  

Speaking of yesterday...the reason I remembered to write this post is that yesterday was yoga.  I went on Tuesday, for the first time in forever.  And I know I didn't really push myself, because I didn't feel it on Wednesday.  Yesterday, I was tired.  As we went into the first hard-ish pose, a few seconds in I thought, this is hard.  I could just put my leg down and rest for a few seconds before we switch sides.  And in that moment, I was back in the pool, putting my feet down.  Quitting.  

So I kept my leg up in the air, and did every pose with everything I had (which, frankly, wasn't much but it's enough).  And today?  Today I hurt.  A LOT.  

But I didn't quit.  And you know what?  I'm thinking not quitting is a skill that will get easier if I practice, too.  Maybe 40 years from now, I'll look back at that yoga pose and remember it vividly as the day I quit...quitting.

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