Ahh....

This happens so rarely, I just have to share...

I'm a horrible procrastinator. I kid myself--you know, I'm so busy I can only deal with one day at a time...but really, I just procrastinate. Always have--can't tell you how many times in high school and college I wrote papers the night before. All night, most of the time. So I'm an old pro at putting things off.

I'm the WORST when it comes to some of my writing gigs--if it's not something I'm writing for me, I tend to keep shuffling it to the bottom of the list. You know, I can't write now--too much on my mind. Can't write now, the house isn't quiet. Can't write now, I have this report I have to write...seriously, I'm gooood at this procrastinating.

But I'm very, very proud to report that I have a 2-project deadline tomorrow, and I have just completed BOTH projects. Woo hoo!

Hee hee. But I'm still me, so now I have to go finish the agenda for my meeting tomorrow...but hey, could be worse--I'll still be in bed by 10:30. That almost NEVER happens the day before a Region 4 deadline!

Bye, bye, fizz, fizz...

So you know I had to quit meat again a while back. It's gone well--I've not been sick much at all, though there was the day after I ate that horrible Tastycake on Kayci's field trip and felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. Ugh. No Crisco-filled cakes, duly noted. But a strange thing happened this fall as I found myself having more and more "sick" days and gall-bladderish symptoms...I quit drinking my water and started drinking Cokes. A lot of Cokes--like, 2 or 3 a day. Which of course cancels out the healthier diet. And my poor teeth--not nearly as white as I'd like. (By the way, if you're just joining us: I had my gall bladder out in April of 2007...so really, should NOT be having gall bladder attacks anymore. You'd think. What works for me is to cut out meat, although a few grilled shrimp and light fish don't seem to hurt, and to cut down on fats.)

James and I have made a pact: starting today, with the exception of Mommy water (plain carbonated water that I love with Sonic ice & lemon), our life is a fizz-free zone. Not even...gasp!...beer. We're both quitting cokes and all things fizzy and calorie-laden. He's a man, so he'll decide today to quit cokes and by this evening his 6-pack will be reemerging. My motivation? Well, cutting out those calories is a big one. My other motivation? Over at Today's Housewife, they challenged us to make one small change this month, and to be purposeful in bringing about that change in our lives every day this month. I think that getting healthier is a huge change that I need to make, but since it's me, I need to take baby steps. Cutting out cokes is both a baby step and a huge step, so it just feels right for that to be "my change."

Wish me luck! It'll probably be fine until we have tacos or something else that I don't like to eat without a coke or beer...or, you know, until tonight when we sit down to watch "Mad Men" and I'd like a beer. Or, you know, until lunch when we run errands and I'd like a Sonic coke. Who am I kidding? It ain't gonna be easy. But it's way worth it, so I'm all in!

Spotless

Spot's bowl got pretty funky while we were gone, so Thursday I decided to take a few minutes and get him all cleaned up.

But we were out of water conditioner tablets, I discovered once I had everything in motion. I quickly weighed my options--I'd put Spot in the smallest amount of his dirty water I could stand to think of dumping back in the bowl, which meant I was hustling. I didn't think he could hang long enough for me to get to WalMart and back.

So I did it.

I put Spot into his clean bowl.

And Friday, we had a burial at sea. Well, we flushed him but I assured Kayci that, as Nemo said, all drains lead to the ocean.

She took it well. I, um, haven't told her yet about my possible role in the situation.

Shh.

Conspicuous

So it's birthday week here in our family...GoGo and Angus this weekend, Nana & Dan this coming week, Reagan next Sunday. And in there is also the anniversary of Luke's (Carol's 2nd husband, who was Jame's stepdad when we dated and were first married) death. Which, sadly for Carol, will always be on the day before her birthday.

All of this is enough, every year, to make me crazy or reach for a brown bottle. With a long neck. Wink wink.

But this year, it's hard to really get into any of it, because the one (sorry, guys) that I most want to celebrate is conspicuously absent. A week from today is Dad's 66th Birthday. Last year he turned 65, and while we couldn't do what we wanted to do because of his health and treatments (rent a houseboat, a dream of his), we were able to celebrate BIG...with a surprise visit from Ronny, who told Dad that weekend that they were coming home early from Taiwan. Somewhere on one of the blogs, we posted a picture of me & my family taken that Saturday last year. I don't know when the last one was taken before that, maybe at my wedding, or if one was taken after. I don't think so. So it's a special picture, even though Dad looks well, sick, and we're all sitting on my couch that doubled as Dad's bed when he visited. Only I care about that, right?

More and more every day, it's getting hard to smile and push through, because every day there's something else I want to tell him or show him or run by him...every day he's not HERE. Ronny's planned a great weekend next weekend when we'll get together and eat Dad's gumbo and celebrate his life and birthday...but he won't be there, and I just don't know how to do it. I know we'll all get through it, one step at a time. We don't have a choice, right? I don't mean to be all poor us on Saturday morning, and I don't mean to take anything away from the people we ARE lucky enough to celebrate with this week. But that's what's on my mind, and in my heart. I want to spend time with my Dad, I want to celebrate him. I want to watch him open his birthday gifts and place bets on how long it will take him to spend $50 at Academy, $1 at a time. I want to watch him open the apple I know Kayci would wrap for him, and the unh-unhs we'd probably wrap up from Noble. I want him to hear Noble laugh, and hear Kayci talk about her Science Vocabulary test in first grade. I want to whine to him about how tired I am after our trip last week...and then tell him about all of the things we saw that made me think of him. I want to get him a new Grandpa's fishing team shirt that we forgot to buy after Noble's birth--how did we miss that? I want so much...normal. But for today, I'm remembering a year ago at the Bread Basket, seeing Ronny for the first time after a few months (the longest we'd been away from him since the Marines), Noble's snot bubble at breakfast, seeing Timmy & Emma...building Sami the craziest dog house ever. It was a good day. And that's enough, I just need to remember that. These are good days, too...there's just someone conspicuously absent. I'm grateful for the good days present and past, and that's what I try to focus on. But somedays I let my mind go and remember and wish, and this is what I think about.

Home again. Now what?

This is a picture I snapped as we flew into Houston Tuesday night. I know that I wasn't born in Houston, and we've lived in Brenham for 3 1/2 years now (really!), but Houston, for whatever reason, is still HOME. So when we saw Downtown, it was like, ahh...home. Of course, getting home from vacation is always a great feeling...until you GET home. Then the suitcases come in, the house gets trashed, real life comes crashing back...and all of the peace and serenity from vacation? Gone. And when you bring home sickly kiddos? Ha. So there's my gripe--it's been a bit of a rough re-entry here this week. But right this second, I'm sitting in a mostly clean house, laundry's half-done, and I've got 4 hours to bang out some work (work this week has been accomplished in small increments, but I'll take it!). It ought to be a great weekend, and I'm looking forward to both great family time and some DOWN time on Sunday. Well, I hope, anyway! Perhaps, as we talked about yesterday, I should quit freakin' making plans. I made plans for yesterday and sent Noble off to school...only to find out that a friend was having a major crisis and my day's plans would need to change. And then change again. And that's okay, because it's all going to work out in the end. We had Kayci's first Girl Scout meeting here last night, and that was lots of fun...we've been blessed with 7 great girls and some awesome parents. So that's fun! I need to quit babbling and get to work...hope you all are going to have a great weekend!!!

My plans, and THE plan...

I don't know what I was thinking, really, making plans for today. After traveling for several days with kids, no less, the nerve of me to make plans to work today. In Houston, no less.

Have no fear, though, as my plans quickly gave way to THE plan this morning when it was apparent that Noble wasn't going anywhere today. He and I ran some errands (it was fun, you can imagine) after dropping Kayci at school, and he's actually slept most of the day which means I did get some work done. Of course, now he's in his bed yelling "my Mom Mom, my Mom Mom..." because he's too tired to go to sleep. I put him in his bed and came and sat down for a second to see if it would work...so I could work for a while before sweet Paula drops Kayci off at home. (Thanks, Paula--so glad to skip car line today with the fussy one!)

Ah, but you see, there I went again, making plans. I thought I'd be able to put Noble down for a nap and get a couple hours of work in between James' departure and Kayci's arrival. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. Guess I'd better go rescue Bubby before he decides I've forsaken him. I know, I know...a sick baby means drop everything.

But I had plans....

love, love

It's G-rated as Kayci is the photographer (right?!)...I wonder if she'll remember this morning whenever she sees this LOVE statue/logo from now on? :) I hope so. One of the many things I hope to teach her is that life's most fun when you marry your best friend--but I want her to know, too, in an age-appropriate way, that Daddy and I looooooooove each other, as well. This parenting thing--it's hard to balance it all, no? But we muddle through as best we can and make the most of the moments we're given.